Magic,Magic,Cats
by WhatTheHellIsThatFord
Summary: Following after the events of Cinco de Quito Gob Bluth ends up in a spiral of love, family and may or may not have a daughter.


**Magic, Magic, Cats**

 **SCENE 1**

 **THE MODEL HOME**

 **Gob is sprawled out on the couch half asleep.**

Narrator: Gob Bluth was trying to relax and clear his mind of past events.

Gob: (deep breath) And relax.

Narrator: But unfortunately this wasn't going on happen.

 **Gob's phone rings causing Gob to fall off the couch. Gob looks around for his phone but can't find it.**

Tony Wonder: (voiceover) Hey Gobie I haven't seen in a while. Anyway I'm doing a show at the gothic castle tonight and was wondering if you wanted to come and see it. Kay bye.

Gob: Damn it.

Narrator: Gob had been trying to avoid Tony since the Cinco de Quito in which he and Tony had accidently slept together. A certain voicemail didn't help with the situation either.

 **FLASHBACK**

Tony Wonder: (voicemail): Hey, Gobie. It's Tony. We still on for our sex date tonight?

 **END OF FLASHBACK**

Narrator:And with Tony haven taken a forget me now it made the entire situation something that Gob hoped would just blow over, spoiler alert it hadn't, so Gob was now in a indecisive mind of where or not to go where it had all began.

 **INTRO- And now the story of a family whose future was abruptly canceled, and the one son who had no chose but to keep himself together. It's Gob's Arrested Development.**

 **SCENE 2**

 **INT. THE GOTHIC CASTLE**

Narrator: Wanting to avoid Tony but also support his magic night Gob decided to use his plan from the last time he needed to get into the gothic castle but this time he found someone willing to play his boyfriend.

 **Gob and Barry are inside the gothic castle having a drink.**

Barry: Hey thanks for inviting me to hang out, I've been meaning to go to a gay night for a long.

Gob: Umm okay.

Narrator: Gob had asked the family's attorney Barry Zuckerkorn to escort him.

 **Barry looks around and notices a man winking at him.**

Barry: Excuse me Gob I just need to visit the men's room.

 **Barry gets up and walks over to the man.**

Gob: Hey Barry the bathrooms are the other way, nevermind. I wonder if he knows that.

Tony: Did somebody say wonder?

 **Tony pops out of the mini-fridge behind the bar, this scares the crap out of Gob.**

Gob: Jesus Tony

Tony: Gob?

 **There is an awkward tension between the two men**

Gob: aren't you supposed to be on stage first?

Tony: Well I was supposed to but some kid's doing her act before me, I was a bit pissed off but I decided to hide in the mini-fridge to cool off.

Gob: Huh. Why's this kid going before you?

Tony: Apparently she's got this cat like magician act and they seem to think she has potential or (Wonder quotation mark) purrtential in her case.

Gob: Well that sounds stupid.

Tony: What to watch it and boo her.

Gob: Sure why not.

Narrator: So the two men took their seats as the magic act was about to happen.

 **EYE OF THE TIGER PLAYS**

 **On the stage a young girl with short red hair, glasses, and dressed in black and red appears out of a puff of smoke and begins her act of cat-related tricks like making a kitten appear in her hands, landing on her feet no matter where she jumps from and magically produces painted cat whiskers on her face.**

Narrator: And so the two magicians watched the act only to realize that this new magician was actually good at magic.

Red haired girl: My name is Felix Feline and I am feline fine.

 **The crowd cheers**.

Tony: God damn she's good.

 **SCENE 3**

 **INT. THE BAR**

Narrator: After a night of mediocre magic acts Gob and Tony decided to greet Felix Feline who was currently helping herself to free food.

Felix: I wonder if this is lactose-free?

Tony: Did somebody say wonder?

 **Felix turns around.**

Felix: Oh my god you're Tony Wonder, listen I'm a big fan of yours you helped me get through some rough times.

Tony: That's always good to know.

 **Felix looks over to Gob.**

Felix: You look familiar.

Gob: I'm Gob Bluth.

Narrator: Gob's name seemed to have an effect on Felix but due to everyone's obviousness no one picked up on this.

Gob: You probably know me as the Christian magician.

Felix: Yeah I think that where I recognize you.

Narrator: Felix was lying.

Felix: So are you two boyfriends?

Tony: What? No. Like I'd fall in love with this guy (points at Gob)

Gob: Yeah like I actually have romantic feelings for you (nervous chuckles) what a crazy notion.

Music: Hello darkness, my old friend.

Tony: S**t (reading a text on his phone) I got to go, Sally's pissed off at me for some reason.

Tony leaves without saying goodbye. Gob and Felix stand in awkward silence for a moment before Felix finally chimes in.

Felix: You wanna grab a drink?

Gob: Yeah why not.

 **Both Felix and Gob are sat at the bar.**

Gob: So do you drink in bars often?

Felix: Here, no but at home yes.

Gob: What? Did you forget your ID or something?

Felix: I'm only nineteen

Gob: Then how can you drink at home?

Felix: Maybe my accent gives a hint?

 **Gob just sits and looks confused.**

Narrator: Gob being completely oblivious hadn't picked up on Felix's British accent and just thought that she was talking weirdly just for the hell of it.

Felix: I've got a British accent; I'm from Wee Britain.

 **Gob still looks confused.**

Narrator: Felix soon explained things to Gob. Felix was from Wee Britain where she lived with her mother, stepfather, and her three younger siblings. While there wasn't any tough love in the family Felix still felt like she was the runt of the litter.

INT. KITCHEN

 **Felix is eating breakfast with one of her siblings.**

Sister: Hey Felix you want to know what you and Jon Snow have in common?

Felix: We're both badass?

Sibling: You're both loveable bastards.

 **Felix looks unamused at her sister.**

 **BACK TO THE BAR**

Felix: After I discovered the gothic castle I decided to become a magician and live a new in Newport Beach. Yep it's just me and this little guy from now on.

 **Felix looks in her blazer trying to find her kitten Catnip.**

Felix: (looking around) crap where the hell is he… oh he's over there.

 **Catnip is sat across the bar, he walks over to Felix who picks him up and hugs him.**

Felix: You know me and this cat have a lot in common; we're both young, lonely runts of the litter who end up falling into rubbish.

Gob: That's a deep thought for a nineteen-year-old.

Felix: What can I say; I've got Bluth blood in me.

Gob: What?!

Felix: Well I better tell you while you're drunk. This might sound weird but I think you might be my dad.

Gob: Are you sure about that?

Felix: All I really know is that my mum said my dad was a pathetic magician who came from a asshole family which I guess is the Bluth family because whenever you guys end up on the news she gets mad and flips off the TV.

Gob: That sounds umm…

Felix: I mean I might be wrong but I feel like there's a connection.

Narrator: Gob quickly thought up a plan to make sure that what Felix took him wasn't true and so he decided that if he exposed her to the Bluth family atmosphere she'd get discouraged and leave.

Gob: Tell you what? Why don't you come and meet the family. Is good for you?

Felix: Hell yeah.

 **Gob and Felix clink their drinks together.**

 **SCENE 4**

 **GOB'S CAR**

 **Gob and Felix are driving to Lucille's house**

Gob: Family fun day happening, some father daughter bonding time, this will be a first.

Felix: You don't have any kids?

Gob: Not that I know of.

Narrator: Gob did have another kid by the name of Steve Holt. Gob had forgotten this.

Felix: Do you think your family will like me?

Gob: Oh yeah mother will definitely love you and Buster you'll like.

 **There is a awkward silence in the car for a few seconds**.

Gob: It'll be nice to have another magician around, someone who'll appreciate my illusions

Felix: It's so cool the way you say illusions.

Gob: Yeah?

Felix Yeah (Gob voice) my illusion.

 **Gob laughs**

Gob: That sounds just like me (laughs) I'm constantly saying that to my brother

Felix: Who? Buster?

Gob: No, Michael

 **Felix raises an eyebrow and writes Michael's name on her hand. Gob doesn't notice this.**

Felix: Interesting.

 **SCENE 5**

 **INT. APARTMENT**

 **KNOCK AT THE DOOR. Lucille goes to answer it.**

Gob: Hello mother.

Lucille: Hello Gob. Is this your little friend?

Gob: Yes mother this is Felix

 **Felix shyly waves at Lucille.**

Lucille: would you like to come in?

 **Gob and Felix walk into the apartment. Once inside Lucille pulls Gob aside**

Lucille: What exactly is this Felix thing, is it a she, a he, where did it come from and is it your?

Gob: God you make it out like I found a stray cat or something. For starters this is Felix, she's a magician and she may or may not be my kid.

Lucille: Not again Gob.

 **Lucille looks over at Felix who is sat neatly on the couch, this reminds her of Buster in a way.**

Lucille: At least this one looks promising unlike the moronic jock one.

Gob: Which other one?

 **Buster walks into the living room and notices Felix.**

Buster: You look new.

 **Gob walks over to Buster.**

Gob: Hey Buster why don't you show Felix here you big monstrous huge hand.

Buster: A bit harsh, brother.

Felix: It's not monstrous it's just big. You must give the best highs.

Buster (flattered): Well I'm not one to brag.

Felix: you know who likes high five?

 **Felix looks in her blazer for Catnip who is missing once again.**

Felix: where the hell has that cat gone? Oh found him.

 **Catnip is stood by Buster's feet, Felix leans down to pick him up.**

Felix: Catnip this is Buster. You wanna high five?

 **Felix holds up Catnip, Catnip's little paw high fives Buster hand. Buster giggles.**

 **Buster turns to Gob**

Buster: I like this one.

 **Buster and Felix are playing with Catnip and Lucille is quietly enjoying a big glass of wine in the kitchen.**

Gob: (to himself) the one time I need dysfunctional and I get warm and welcome. COME ON!

 **SCENE 6**

 **GOB'S CAR**

Felix: Your family seems nice?

Gob: Uh huh.

Felix: Pretty sure that Buster that was trying to nick my cat

Gob: Yep.

Felix

Felix: You okay Gob?

Gob: Yeah im fine. Why'd you ask?

Felix: You seem distracted.

Gob: Well I'm not.

 **Awkward silence in the car.**

Felix: Are you and Tony Wonder a thing?

Gob: (surprised) What do you mean?

Felix: Like were you two friends, best friends, lovers, enemies? Did something happen between you two?

Gob: uhhh

(Sounds of aggressive lovemaking via Blunder)

Gob: Maybe.

 **Silence**

Gob: I get this odd feeling when I'm with him.

Felix: What do you mean?

Gob: Well it's like every time we touch, I get this feeling, And every time we kiss I swear I could fly.

Felix: Isn't that the lyrics to a Cascada song?

Gob: Damn it I thought I was being original.

Felix: Well I think that sounds like love.

Narrator: Taking in Felix's words Gob soon came to realize that maybe (both Narrator and Gob) he was/I'm in love with Tony Won….

 **Gob hits too hard on the breaks causing something to fall and crash in the back of the car, buzzing is heard.**

Felix: Is that bees?

Gob: F*** they're loose.

Felix: why the hell would you have bees in the car?

Gob: it's all right I've got this.

 **Gob gets out of the car and into the back of the car to sort out the bee problem.**

Gob: Alright you buzzing little bastards.

 **Felix gets bored and looks in the glove box only to shut it instantly close it.**

Felix: Dead mice, lovely, lovely juggly.

 **Felix looks over to the drivers seat and notices Gob's phone.**

Narrator: Felix pondered for a moment before looking at the name in her hand and decided to call Michael in order to get an answer about her pedigree.

 **Felix hacks into Gob's phone and calls Michael.**

Michael: Gob, what do you want?

Felix: (Gob voice): Hey Michael.

Michael: Yeah hi, what do you want Gob I'm kind of busy right now.

Felix: (Gob voice): Hey do you remember if I dated some girl, British, called Emma Turner by any chance.

Michael: Gob what are you on about?

Felix: (Gob voice): I just wondering if you remembered, its for a bar bet.

Michael: A bar bet, it's two in the afternoon why the hell are you at a bar?

Felix: (Gob voice): Uhh

Michael: Are you on drugs or something?

Felix: (Gob voice): Bye, love you.

 **Felix hangs up and throws the phone back on the drivers seat. She licks her hand wiping off Michael's name on her sleeve.**

Felix: Hopeful that doesn't come back and bite me in the ass.

 **Gob screams and swears in the back due to getting bee strings.**

 **SCENE 7**

 **MODEL HOME**

Narrator: While the phone call didn't bite Felix it did however come back and bit Gob in the ass.

 **Gob is passed out on the couch sleeping.** **Gob's phone rings, this wakes up Gob causing him to fall off the couch**

Gob: Hello.

Michael: Hello Gob.

Gob: May I ask why you're calling me?

Michael: do you not remember calling me yesterday?

Gob: When the hell did I do that?

Michael: Oh god. Gob, are you on drugs?

Gob: What?

Michael: have you been taking those roofies you carry with you?

Gob: For starters there called forget me nows and if we're talking about taking them you were the last one to have one Michael.

Michael: When did I talk on?

Gob: uhh. S***

Michael: Did you drug me Gob? What the hell is wrong with you?

Gob: hey I did it for your own good

Michael: which was?

Gob: I can't say

Michael: You know what? Screw you Gob. I shouldn't have called, I shouldn't have cared. And if I were you Gob I wouldn't call me for a long time.

 **Michael hangs up. Gob sits on the couch confused.**

Gob: when the hell did I call Michael? I've been trying to avoid for the last five months. What if my phone was hacked? Who would've hacked my phone?

Narrator: Gob noticed Tony's name under recent calls and assumes that Tony was the one who hacked his phone. His name was exactly there due to a voicemail he had left.

 **FLASHBACK**

Tony Wonder: (voicemail): Hey, Gobie. It's Tony. We still on for our sex date tonight?

 **END OF FLASHBACK**

Narrator: But Gob filled with confusion, anger and possibly poison from the many bee string was convinced that Tony was the one who hacked him.

Gob: TONY WONDER!

 **SCENE 8**

 **INT. TONY'S PLACE**

 **Gob walks up to Tony's front door practically banging his fist on the door. Tony opens the door.**

Tony: Gob, what brings you here?

Gob: Well hello Tony or should I say, traitor?

Tony: What?

Gob: Cut the crap Wonder I know what you did, you hacked my phone and called Michael and now he thinks I'm doing drugs or doing something stupid and he won't get off my back which sucks because I was doing a good job of avoiding the little after Cinco incident.

Narrator: Gob was referring to the time in which he drugged Michael with a forget me now.

 **FLASHBACK**

 **Michael sees Tony run out of the door.**

Michael: I knew it, I always knew it.

Gob: Take this, Michael.

Michael: No!

 **Gob tackles Michael to the ground and forces a forget me now into**

 **Michael's mouth.**

Gob: It's so easy to forget. Stupid, forgetful Michael.

 **END OF FLASHBACK**

Gob: So no thanks to you I now have my brother on my ass.

Tony: What are you talking about I didn't call your brother.

Gob: Oh sure and I'm the great zoden…Wait, it wasn't you?

Tony: No, it took you long enough to figure it out you dumbass poof goof magician.

 **Gob is horrified by Tony's remark.**

Gob: At least I don't fake my sexuality for publicity you poser.

Tony: Say that again.

Gob: I said at least I don't fake my sexual...

 **Tony grabs Gob's shirt and pulls him into an aggressive kiss.**

 **SCENE 9**

 **INT. TONY'S BEDROOM**

 **Gob and Tony are lying in bed after post-coitus. Gob has his head on Tony's chest.**

Gob: That was so much better than the first time.

Tony: First time?

Gob: Umm I meant...

Tony: No you're right, this was better.

Gob: Wait you remember Cinco de Quito?

Tony: Yeah.

Gob: But what about the voicemail you left?

Tony: To be honest I thought you took a forget me now and it felt embarrassing if I was the only one who remembered it

Gob: Same

 **Gob and Tony share a soft glaze before things start to feel awkward.**

Tony: Out of curiosity what if that cat kid was the one who hacked your phone?

Gob: Who? Felix?

Narrator: And it finally became clear to Gob that it was, in fact, Felix who hacked his phone.

 **FLASHBACK**

Gob: I'm constantly saying that to my brother

Felix: Who? Buster?

Gob: No, Michael

 **Felix raises an eyebrow and writes Michael's name on her hand.**

Felix: Interesting.

 **END OF FLASHBACK**

Tony: So was it cat kid?

Gob: Umm

Narrator: Gob not wanting Tony to know he was right decided to play it off.

Gob: Nah it wasn't Felix.

Narrator: Gob also wanted a reason to get away from Tony to think about what had just happened between them.

Gob: Hey listen, Tony, my stomach doesn't feel right so I'm just going to go home and pass out on the couch.

Tony: You ok? You can pass out here if you want?

 **Gob starts to get up grabbing his clothes and putting them on.**

Gob: No it's fine, besides I don't want to vomit all over the place.

Tony:(disappointed) Oh ok.

 **Gob places his hand awkwardly in Tony's before heading out the room, their pinky finger link together for a second before they let go and Gob leaves.**

 **SCENE 10**

 **EXT. DRIVE**

 **Gob walks to his car and gets in.**

Gob: Kitty cat is going to pay.

 **Gob looks at his phone and notices that there's a voicemail on it from Felix.**

Felix: (voicemail): Hey Gob it's Felix. I'm doing my grand show tonight show, it's cat meets water thing, I get hide in a water barrel and I was wondering is you want to come and see it? Okay bye.

Gob: Well that was a freebie.

 **SCENE 11**

 **INT. THE GOTHIC CASTLE**

Narrator: And so with Felix's grand show to happen later on Gob put his plan of revenge sabotage into action.

 **Gob walks backstage looking for the metal water barrel. Gob finds the water barrel and places a paperclip into the lock escape jamming it so Felix can't get out.**

Gob: Get ready for a catastrophe Felix Feline.

 **Gob walks out from backstage and notices Felix who is on the phone.**

Felix: What do you mean none of you can come and see the show? No its not just tricks it an illusion. Hey I went to you dumb violin recital which was… Okay yeah it was good but that's not the point.. Okay love you too, bye.

 **Felix hangs up the phone. Gob tries to gently walk past hoping that Felix wont she him but she does.**

Felix: Gob hey. What are you doing here?

Gob: Just came to wish you luck before the show cat girl.

Felix: Thanks Gob it's nice that you came.

Worker: Felix you're on in five minutes.

Felix: Well I better get ready, hopefully it wouldn't be a catastrophe.

 **Felix heads to her dressing room.**

Gob (Deep breath): Oh boy.

Narrator: As Gob made his way to his seat he felt a tinge of guilt that he was going to be the one to sabotage Felix's act like Tony had did to his Christian act but luckily his guilt disappeared once 'Eye of the tiger' played and startled him.

 **On stage Felix appears in a puff of smoke with cat whiskers on her face and cat ears on her head. Felix does a few of her normal tricks like making Catnip appear out of nowhere, coughing up mice into her hands and landing on her feet jumping off the stage from a big height.**

Felix: and now ladies and gentlemen I shall now be performing my grand illusion.

 **Felix throws down a smoke bomb to making it seem like the metal water drum has appeared out of nowhere instead of through the trap door.**

Felix: They say that cats don't like water but I'm here to prove that wrong.

 **Felix dances around the water barrel.**

Felix: I shall jump into the barrel pulling the lid down that will automatically lock, from that point I shall use my nine lives luck to escape.

 **Felix climbs up the barrel.**

Audience member: Any last words?

Felix: I've lived a good life or should I say a feline life.

Narrator: Maybe it was the nostalgia that Gob felt as he saw a younger version of himself in Felix or maybe it was that he had grown to care for her but it was at this moment when Gob realized…

Gob: I've made a huge mistake.

 **Felix holds her breath and jumps into the barrel grabbing the lid and locking it.**

 **The curtains close and all anyone can hear is three taps from inside the barrel before it soon goes silent. The curtain opens and everyone looks anxious thinking that Felix is trapped inside.**

Gob: Oh god, oh god I've murdered poor little Felix, Buster's not going to forgive me for this.

Audience member: Oh my god is she okay?

Felix: Yes I hope that she's okay, oh wait, I am.

 **The audience turns to find Felix and go into a huge applause**

 **Gob sees Felix and is relieved.**

Gob: Oh thank god I didn't actually kill her.

 **The audience is still applauding Felix. Felix starts to shudder from being wet.**

Felix(to herself): Yep this kitty cat doesn't like getting wet

 **SCENE 13**

 **INT. FELIX DRESSING ROOM**

 **Gob knocks on the door before letting himself in.**

Gob: Hey Felix.

Felix: Gob, hey.

 **Felix is huddled in a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate in a cat mug.**

Gob: I must say that was one hell of a magic act you did out there.

Felix: Well I did nearly drown while doing it.

Gob: Out of curiosity, how did you pull it off?

Felix: Can't tell you Gob, a good magician never reveals their secrets.

Gob: You sure you can't tell me?

Felix: Let's just say that it's magicians like you why I double check the props.

Gob: You knew it was me?

Felix: I probably had it coming, karma for hacking your phone. I don't think I'm a Bluth anymore though, maybe my mum meant a different magician and she really just hates your family.

Gob: well she wouldn't be the first person to hate us. Sorry about almost drowning you.

Felix: I'll be fine; my mum says all you need after a bad day is a blanket, a hot chocolate, and a big hug.

Gob: In that case then.

 **Gob swoops Felix up in a tight hug; Felix is unsure at first but soon relaxes into the hug.**

Felix: This is nice.

Gob: Yeah it is. You know it's moments like this that really tug at the heartstrings.

 **Felix gently pulls out some of Gob's hair.**

Felix: You got that right.

Narrator: And so Gob and Felix felt closer than they ever did before but probably for different reasons, Gob's reasons being a relief after not accidently drowning his could be daughter and Felix was finally about to get answers to who her father really is.

Felix: Speaking of heart did you talk to Tony?

Gob: Umm

(Sounds of aggressive lovemaking via Blunder)

Gob: Kind of.

Felix: So did you quote the Casada speech or...

Gob: Nah. I'm worried that it might be to (shugs with hands).

Felix: Well sometimes (shugs with hands) works.

Gob: Really?

Felix: Yeah (looks at loose Gob hair in her hand) I did it recently and while I'm not sure of the outcome I'm glad I did it.

Narrator: And while this would have been a moving moment it was shortly ruined by...

Valet: The Cabriolet, license plate ANUS TART.

Gob: That's me.

Valet: You left your lights on.

Narrator:... That.

 **SCENE 13**

 **INT. TONY'S PLACE**

Narrator: Gob was about to do something he hadn't done before and decided to follow someone's advice.

 **Gob walks up to Tony's front door knocking three times and waits.**

 **Tony opens the door and finds Gob standing outside.**

Tony: Gob… hey. What are you doing here? I thought you had a stomach bug or something.

Gob: Yeah it turned out it wasn't a sickness; it just ended up being…umm…(under his breath), love.

Tony: What?

 **Gob looks lost like a deer in the headlights but after staring at the ground for a few seconds he finally comes clean.**

Gob: Tony, in the best way I can put every time we touch, I get this feeling, And every time we kiss I swear I could fly, Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last. I need you by my side.

Tony: Was that the chorus to Cascada 'Everytime We Touch'?

Gob: Does it matter?

 **Tony looks deep into Gob's eyes and smiles softly.**

Tony: No, it's fine

 **Gob and Tony glaze into each other's eyes before leaning in for a kiss, both go in too quickly and bump heads. Both men react with pain rubbing their forehead.**

Gob: Well that was stupid.

Tony: How about we try this?

 **Tony places his hand under Gob's chin making him face down so he can sweetly place a kiss on his lips. The kiss becomes more passionate gradually as Tony's arms end up around Gob's neck and Gob wraps his arms around his waist pulling him in closer.**

Narrator: ON THE NEXT ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

 **SCENE 14**

 **INT. DOCTORS OFFICE**

Narrator: Felix discovers who her father is.

Doctor: well according to these samples it's a match. Mr. George Oscar Bluth is, in fact, your real father.

 **Felix looks unsure.**

Felix: that's great, a new chapter of my life is happening.

Music: Hello darkness, my old friend...

Doctor: Oops sorry that's my phone

 **The doctor answers his phone**

Doctor: Hello. Barry you adorable son of a bitch how are you? Still up

 **SCENE 15**

 **INT. APARTMENT**

Narrator: And Buster makes a new friend.

 **Buster is walking around the apartment and spots Catnip on the couch.**

Buster: Hey little kitten.

 **Buster holds up his hand and Catnip high fives him**

Buster:(giggling) I got a high-five.

 **Buster is sat on the chair stroking Catnip**

Buster: I feel like we have a strong connection kitten.

THE END


End file.
